World's Oddest Jobs - Ever Imagined These?

In the United States, where a varied group of 9-to-5 professionals appear to dominate the working world, there is still room for unique employment. Nancy Rica Schiff's books, "Odd Jobs," and its sequel "Odder Jobs," showcase portraits of individuals across America with some of the most out-of-the-ordinary occupations. From dog food testers to odor judges, Schiff introduces readers to people and jobs existing beyond the usual classifieds.

Some of these jobs require additional educational training, natural talent or relocating to find the work, but if you're willing to do whatever it takes to avoid a more ordinary occupation, and don't mind steep competition, working in any one of these professions will provide a more interesting response the next time someone asks, "What do you do?"

Here are some of Schiff's Odd Jobs:

1. Coffin Maker
What they do: Build customized coffins, ranging from simple pine caskets to bejeweled boxes.

2. Potato Chip Inspector
What they do: Oversee potato chips on an assembly line and check for overcooked or clumped chips to discard.

3. Wax Figure Maker
What they do: Mold wax to create figures, often, but not limited to, the human form. Figures are often made in the likeness of people who have achieved historical or celebrity recognition.

4. Foot Model
What they do: Work as a "parts model," modeling their feet for advertisements that feature footwear, lotions and other related-products.

5. Golf Ball Diver
What they do: Search the depths of golf course bodies of water to find lost golf balls to refinish and resell.

6. Doll Doctor
What they do: Repair, repaint and reassemble doll parts to doctor-up dolls that have missing, broken or damaged parts.

7. Egg Inspector
What they do: Examine eggs for cracks and other irregularities before they are graded and stamped for approval.

8. Knife Thrower's Assistant
What they do: Act as human targets for the knife thrower, which can involve mastering feats such as being tied to a spinning wheel while having knives thrown within inches of their bodies, or having objects cut above their heads.

9. Foley Artist
What they do: Use random items and whatever else they can find to create and record the noises used to make the sounds effects in films, such as heavy footsteps, rolling thunder or creaking doors.

10. Solfeggist
What they do: Listen to recorded music and monitor notes in indistinguishable compositions.

11. Snow Researcher
What they do: Collect and analyze ice crystals in snow to study the effects of pollution on area snowfall.

12. Wig Maker
What they do: Create and fit hair pieces such as wigs, beards, mustaches and eyebrows for clients requesting hair for costume or personal needs.

13. Gross Stunt Producer
What they do: Create new ways to gross out contestants on television shows, using insects, animal products and other things considered that could be considered "gross" by society's standards.

14. Mermaid
What they do: Entertain crowds as an underwater performer.

15. Whiskey Ambassador
What they do: Drink and explain the proper ways to serve and savor various whiskeys.

16. Dog Food Tester
What they do: Taste and analyze dog food samples and write reviews on the results.

17. Bonfire Builder
What they do: Gather discarded wood from trash bins, beaches, construction scrap heaps and similar areas to expertly build bonfires.

18. Dice Inspector
What they do: Inspect dice used in casinos for lopsided angles, misspotting and other blemishes that could cause error when the dice are rolled for gambling purposes.

19. Ethnographer
What they do: Research and study single groups of human behavior through fieldwork, observing and questioning participants.

20. Gum Buster
What they do: Remove gum stuck to sidewalks, street benches and other unwanted areas by de-sticking the gum through a steaming process.

Source of this article

Saturn: The Best Astronomy Picture of 2006

What else could it possibly have been?

This image has it all. (click for a full sized view of the photo) It’s of a familiar object, seen in an unfamiliar way: back-lit by the Sun, a view impossible from Earth. It shows the whole planet, a rarity from space missions. The image shows very faint details and has very high resolution, a must.

The spacecraft Cassini viewed the rings as never before, revealing previously unknown faint rings and even glimpsing its home world. This was taken on September 15, 2006 using Cassini’s wide angle camera. Cassini was approximately 2.2 million kilometers (1.3 million miles) from Saturn when the images in this mosaic were taken.

But there is sheer artistry at work here. The colors, the lighting… look at the sun splash in the lower left limb of the planet, and the fans of ethereal mistiness shooting out from the rings. The shading on the planet itself is lovely, while the rings provide a geometric symmetry that is very appealing to the eye.

All this is necessary for the image to be the best, and together they may even be sufficient. But like all true winners, it has that extra addition, the over-the-top detail that pushes it into "all-time" status:

That dot in the center of 2^nd image is the Earth. It’s us. Cassini was nearly one billion miles from us when it took this image, orbiting a giant ball of gas as exotic and alien as any place we can imagine. From such a terribly removed location, the entire Earth is reduced to a single point of light, just one among an anonymous many as seen from our robotic proxy as our generation, for the first time in all of history, seeks out our neighborhood and takes a really good look.

That’s why this is the best astronomy image of 2006. And it’s one of the best of all time. For more info about the source of this picture click here

Heaven's Clock!

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock.

Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's President Bush's clock?" asked the man.

"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office.

He's using it as a ceiling fan."

Mallu aka Malabari aka Malayali!

I came across this funny post on Mallus. Having lived in the Middle East I couldn't help getting amused. To all Malayalis; no malice intended. Please don't get me wrong. I am not a Malayali but many of them are my good friends and I do envy them for their versatility and ability to succeed against all odds. Take it all with a pinch of salt. Apologies if it hurt any one.

Mallu: A colloquial name given to people from the state of kerala, India.

1. Statement: You always find mallus in herds or groups.
Fact: Mallus are social animals like hyenas and live in packs of two or more members. This can be attributed to their anticipation of revolution and of course no one wants to be left behind in devouring the spoils. As a corollary, hyenas like mallus, are scavengers. They prefer the “killing” to be done by someone else.

2. Statement: Mallus are well-educated.
Fact: When you have master’s degree holders driving buses and PhD holders working as peons you don’t call them well-educated. They are over-educated.

3. Statement: Mallus are fond of coconuts.
Fact: Another under statement. The best way to stifle a mallu would be to cut his sources of this wonder-fruit. Coconut and its by-products make up approximately 67% of a mallu’s body composition. Make it 93% if you include the kilo-litres of coconut oil applied on his/her hair. Twice everyday we take bath in lukewarm coconut oil and have only coconut chutney for food seven days a week.

4. Statement: Most Mallus are communist and are champions of the downtrodden.
Fact: Irrespective of political parties a mallu belongs to, he is inherently communist in thought, and endeavours to usher in an egalitarian era of proletarian delight (now, what does that mean!). One in which man and man are equally poor and miserable.

5. Statement: Mallus are highly mobile and are everywhere.
Fact: Of course they are. Neil Armstrong claims to have had tea and parippuvada (also called dal vada in certain regions of India) at a “Nair Chaya Kada” (tea shops run by Nairs) when he made mankind’s first Lunar landing. The only inference we can make out of his statement is that mallus are extra terrestrial!

6. Statement: Mallus are very good at languages.
Fact: Ever heard a mallu speak English and you wouldnt doubt the truth behind this statement. Mallu English is a language of its “vvown and is mechh zimbler thaan the Qyoon’s Engleesh”. Mallus are equally adept at speaking any alien tongue which will put the original speakers of the language to shame at their own linguistic ineptitude. Mallus also speak Malayalam.

7. Statement: More than half the Mallu population is in the middle-east.
Fact: The entire oil belt in the middle-east (also called “Gelf” or “Persia”), has a liberal concentration of Mallus, most of them working in “highly skilled” occupations as drivers, fire engineers, mechanics, fitters and crane operators. That they wouldn’t have stooped to doing such menial labour back home is a different issue. The NORK (Non Resident Keralite) equation is gradually shifting in favour of Western Europe and the US with more mallu nurses finding jobs in those regions. The fact that Kerala survives on income repatriated by the Mallu diaspora still remains undisputed.

8. Statement: Mallu names are the finest examples of brevity and simplicity.
Fact: Mallu names are disyllabic at the most and any two syllables put together give you a mallu name. Lijo, Jijo, Jibu, Biju, Shiju, Shoji, Joji, Titty, Ani, Nibi, Bini, Jikku, Kichu, Lisha are all uniquely mallu. They usually do not carry the additional burden of being meaningful. Compare the ease calling out to a mallu called Jiji Anto and someone else named Bibhutibhushan Bandopadhyaya or Sreenivasa Sastri Nimmagadda.

9. Statement: Mallus are athletic and sporty.
Fact: Who hasn’t heard about P T Usha! Given the long coastline that stretches from Kanyakumari to Mangalore, all mallus run on the beach daily for at least 4 hours to keep themselves fit. P T Usha during her heydays used to crisscross the state lengthwise and get back home for an early lunch each day. Mallus are equally adept at other physically demanding sports activities like participating in political processions, striking work, throwing stones at KSRTC buses and watching serials on satellite TV from 2:00pm to 10:00pm everyday.

10. Statement: Mallus are a conceited lot.
Fact: Mallus are just not conceited alone. They are crafty, calculating, conniving and contort facts to attain their ends (Take the case of this post! If he was a mallu author don’t you think the author has a hidden agenda?). Deceptive double-crossers! Well as I already said I am no mallu; and do not know the source of this writing!

Lovely Optical Illusions

An Old Lady or a Beautiful Young Girl?


Are the Two Vertical Lines Bent? Or are they Parallel to each other?
Fact: They are parallel to each other

An old lady an old man and two others? Ca you see all?

How many faces can you see in the above picture?

The two circles in the middle, which one is bigger?

Are they still; or moving?


A city full of houses or an audience for the performer?


This is the Impossible Ring
Do you only see a man in Spects or the word LIAR also?




Click on the above picture to open it in a new window. Then concentrate on the small dot. Can you see the bar in the left hand top changing color from grey to blue?
Which line is longer? Fact: They are both of the same size. Watch the above pic when it does an upside down!


Are the cogs still or moving?


Found the mother of the young one?

Credit Card Skimming: Guard your Card

Another news item about Credit Card frauds. As I already said it happened to me very recently.

Have you ever wondered why your bank calls to inform you that your credit card will be replaced, especially after you return from an overseas trip? Credit card issuers have hotlisted several countries where transactions could be dangerous, because of duplication of sensitive customer information. Among those are Malaysia, Sri Lanka, Thailand and Hong Kong. Read More...

Also check out my earlier related posts:
Hacking of Credit Cards
Fraud on my Credit Card

Wipro's Architect, Azim Premji's Words for Success

This is an inspiring read from the software behemoth Wipro's chief Mr. Azim Premji.
Read on, Premji's 7 step formula

Hacking of Credit Cards - How They Do It.

I had said in my previous post Fraud on my Credit Card of how my credit card was hacked by tricksters. Today I came across this interesting article on card hacking.

Have you ever noticed those transactions of 99 paise or Rs. 1 in your credit card statement? If yes, then your Credit card is being hacked...
Read More...

The Meaning of Happiness

Great note for all to read, it will take two minutes but will change your thinking.

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.

He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

"Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present."

The origin of this letter is unknown, but it brings good luck to those who read and pass this link on to others.

Genuine Translations Around the World - 2

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

Taken from a menu, Poland:
SALAD A FIRM'S OWN MAKE; LIMPID RED BEET SOUP WITH CHEESY DUMPLINGS IN THE FORM OF A FINGER; ROASTED DUCK LET LOOSE; BEEF RASHERS BEATEN UP IN THE COUNTRY PEOPLE'S FASHION.

Supermarket, Hong Kong:
FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.

Dry cleaner's, Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

Tailor shop, Rhodes:
ORDER YOUR SUMMERS SUIT. BECAUSE IS BIG RUSH, WE WILL EXECUTE CUSTOMERS IN STRICT ROTATION.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Hotel, Zurich:
ECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.

A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

Advert for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

In the window on a Swedish furrier:
FUR COATS MADE FOR LADIES FROM THEIR OWN SKIN.

In a Swiss mountain inn:
SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM.

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.

Cocktail lounge, Norway :
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Doctor's office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Hotel, Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

Genuine Translations Around the World - 1

Here are some 'Genuine' Translations from around the World...Funny!

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

Hotel notice, Tokyo:
IS FORBIDDEN TO STEAL HOTEL TOWELS PLEASE. IF YOU ARE NOT A PERSON TO DO SUCH A THING IS PLEASE NOT TO READ NOTIS.

In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Hotel brochure, Italy:
THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.

Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.

Hotel elevator, Belgrade:
TO MOVE THE CABIN, PUSH BUTTON FOR WISHING FLOOR. IF THE CABIN SHOULD ENTER MORE PERSONS, EACH ONE SHOULD PRESS A NUMBER OF WISHING FLOOR. DRIVING IS THEN GOING ALPHABETICALLY BY NATIONAL ORDER.

Hotel lift, Paris:
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.

Hotel, Athens:
VISITORS ARE EXPECTED TO COMPLAIN AT THE OFFICE BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 9 AND 11 AM DAILY.

Hotel , Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Sign in men's toilet in Japan:
TO STOP LEAK TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT.

Put a Shark in Your Fish Tank

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But the waters close to Japan have not held many fish for decades. So to feed the Japanese population, fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever. The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring in the fish. If the return trip took more than a few days, the fish were not fresh. The Japanese did not like the taste. To solve this problem, fishing companies installed freezers on their boats. They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer.

However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen and they did not like frozen fish. The frozen fish fetched a lower price. So fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin. After a little thrashing around, the fish stopped moving. They were tired and dull, but alive. Unfortunately, the Japanese could still taste the difference. Because the fish did not move for days, they lost their fresh-fish taste. The Japanese preferred the lively taste of fresh fish, not sluggish fish. So how did Japanese fishing companies solve this problem? How do they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan?

If you were consulting the fish industry, what would you recommend? As soon as you reach your goals, such as finding a wonderful mate, starting a successful company, paying off your debts or whatever, you might lose your passion. You don't need to work so hard so you relax. You experience the same problem as lottery winners who waste their money, wealthy heirs who never grow up and bored homemakers who get addicted to prescription drugs. Like the Japanese fish problem, the best solution is simple.

It was observed by L. Ron Hubbard in the early 1950's. "Man thrives, oddly enough, only in the presence of a challenging environment."

The Benefits of a Challenge: The more intelligent, persistent and competent you are, the more you enjoy a good problem. If your challenges are the correct size, and if you are steadily conquering those challenges, you are happy. You think of your challenges and get energized. You are excited to try new solutions. You have fun. You are alive!

So how do the Japanese Fish Stay Fresh? To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks. But now they add a small shark to each tank. The shark eats a few fish, but most of the fish arrive in a very lively state. The fish are challenged and as a consequence are alert and lively.

Moral: Instead of avoiding challenges, jump into them. Beat the heck out of them. Enjoy the game. If your challenges are too large or too numerous, do not give up. Failing makes you tired. Instead, reorganize. Find more determination, more knowledge, more help. If you have met your goals, set some bigger goals. Once you meet your personal or family needs, move onto goals for your group, the society, even mankind. Don't create success and lie in it. You have resources, skills and abilities to make a difference. Put a shark in your tank and see how far you can really go!

Indira Gandhi Vs George W Bush

Like Indira Gandhi of India, George W Bush, the president of USA , is the world's most "thrilling" politician. The "thrills" that Indira Gandhi created for our generation in India between 1966 and 1977 when she fell and again from 1980 to 1984 when she was assassinated can be relived if one looks at the "achievements" of George W Bush.

(1) In the year 1975 there was a cartoon in a Bengali newspaper of Calcutta in which a lower middle class householder was shown dangling a huge live fish which he brought home, gave to his wife and asked her to cook it. "But where is the oil ?" his wife asked. "With the money I had I could either buy the fish or oil, not both." replied the husband. Out of disgust the housewife threw the fish into a pond outside her kitchen. Feeling happy at not being cut to pieces, the fish shouted, before diving into the pond," Indira Gandhi ki jai ". Indira Gandhi who justified enormous corruption during her rule, was the grandmother of Indian inflation which was ruining Indian house holds. Bush can claim credit similarly for breaking the backbone of American middle classes and benefitting the top rich man, those"haves" and "have mores" he is said to praise and surround himself with.

(2) Bush won Florida in a controversial way in 2000 through a verdict of the US Supreme Court which is Republican dominated. Indira Gandhi overcame an adverse Allahabad judgement, by amending the People's Representation Act and putting all her opponents into jails to get the required majority in the Indian parliament in 1975. She won her case finally in the Supreme Court of India on the basis of aretrospective amendment.

(3) Indira Gandhi became a national heroine in 1971 by winning the war against Pakistan by opening TWO fronts and by severing it from East Pakistan which became Bangladesh. George Bush too opened TWO fronts, one against Afghanistan and the other against Iraq and started declaring himself "a war president" to become something of a national hero though John Kerry tried to prick the bubble ineffectively in the earlier presidential debates.

(4) Indira Gandhi imposed National Emergency in June 1975 and nearlykilled democracy in India and Bush came out with his Patriot Act tofrighten many Americans into placing national security above their democratic rights.

(5) Indira Gandhi was surrounded in her later years by a coterie of advisers which made her arrogant and authoritarian in a very dictatorial way. Can we say that Bush is any different?

(6) Indira Gandhi raised the slogan " Garibi Hatao " (eradicate poverty) and ended up by nearly eradicating the " garib " (the poor) in the inflationary years 1974-77. I do not know if the jobless in the USA are experiencing similar pangs.

(7) The Congress Party of Indira Gandhi created Bhindrawale, the Sikh preacher-terrorist for electoral advantages, giving rise to Sikh terrorism. She got him killed and created more terrorists as a result of which she was killed by one of her own Sikh bodyguards. CIA created Osama bin Laden to fight the Russians of the communist era in Afghanistan and now Bush demands "Osama dead or alive" creating more terrorists.

(8) Indira Gandhi was described as I.G." ANDHI " (tempest.) Bush has become "BUSHFIRE " .

(9) Both Indira Gandhi and George Bush address crowds and press conferences making better educated people look guilty. But Indira Gandhi could never have matched the uproarious "Bushisms".

(10) And may we say that both Indira Gandhi and George Bush are born with "silver foot in the mouth"?

(11) Indira Gandhi had two children and George W Bush too has two.12) Indira Gandhi, lastly, was born in November and Bush created so many thrills for the world in the month of November, once, in 2000 and now in 2004.

Japanese Knowledge...Good One!

It was the first day of school in Dallas and a new student named
Suzuki,the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history.
Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death?" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki, who had his hand up.

"Patrick Henry, 1775." He said.

"Very good! Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for
the people, shall not perish from the earth'"?

Again, no response except from Suzuki: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863.", said Suzuki

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class,you should be ashamed.
Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper: "Fuc!k the Japs."

"Who said that?" she demanded.

Suzuki put his hand u p. "Lee Iacocca, 1982.”! >

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke." The
teacher glares and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"

Again, Suzuki says, “George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister,
1991.”!

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Suzuki jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the
teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997" !!

Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You little shi!t. If
you say anything else, I'll kill you."

Suzuki frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to
Chandra Levy 2001."

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh shi!t, we're fuccked"

And Suzuki said, "George Bush! on Sept 11, 2001" !!!

Fraud on my Credit Card - How it Was Done

Sometime in the middle of last month I logged into my online bank account to look up the outstanding on my Credit Card. The amount outstanding on my card should not have been more than 10% of my credit card limit. To my utter shock the outstanding was 90% of my card limit with just 10% limit available! My heart missed a beat. I scrolled down the statement on the screen to see the details of transactions. A fraudster had made 7 transactions on my card in United Kingdom in well known supermarkets like Sainsbury’s, Tesco and a couple of others. Four transactions were in London and 3 in some other city. Also these transactions were not online (internet) transactions. I pulled out my wallet to see if my credit card was with me. It was very much there; safe in its place. I immediately called the bank toll free and explained that these were not my purchases! A trickster had made purchases for around GBP 550 using my card details in the UK. Needless to say I got the card blocked and had a new one re-issued. Fortunately for me the card was issued by the bank I work in; so I managed to have the amount reversed. Also luckily the limit on my card was low, so the cheat could not get much.

According to the bank fraud management such frauds are possible by capturing the data of the credit card by a skimming device which looks similar to a normal POS machine. Thus the cardholder’s details could be captured and a duplicate of the card could be made. I understand this is more rampant in some far eastern countries as well as some South Asian countries. I had traveled to Sri Lanka on a holiday some 6 months ago and I suspect that this must have happened there. So card holders; beware of such frauds apart from the regular online frauds that are so common these days. Whenever your card is being swiped keep an eye on the machine used. Do not move away from the cashier until you complete the transaction. If you do travel to other countries; the safest thing to do is to have your card replaced after you return. Also keep tracking your card online on a regular basis.

Debit cards are more vulnerable to fraud. We were victims of one such fraud with our debit card. Colleagues can turn into enemies. My wife’s debit card was stolen from her bag and it was used to make a purchase of an expensive mobile phone worth $600! So ladies beware! Don’t keep your debits/credit cards in your vanity bags! This time we were unlucky as we did not get any reversal of the transaction, being a debit card which is as good as CASH.

Friends; take care of your plastics!

Interesting Stuff..Knew This?

The most common name in the world is Mohammed

The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.*

If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history.

>Spades - King David*

>Clubs - Alexander the Great,*

>Hearts - Charlemagne*

>Diamonds - Julius Caesar.*

-----------------------------------------------------------

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
(Count out the answer)*

-----------------------------------------------------------

If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has a all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural
causes.

What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?
Answer - All invented by women.

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

A snail can sleep for three years.

All polar bears are left handed.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive
from each salad served in first-class.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

Shakespeare invented the words 'assassination' and 'bump'.

Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

An ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps to squirt blood 30 feet.

Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.

Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

Most lipstick contains fish scales.

Honorable MEN

Must Read for Every Man and of course Woman (to understand man)

If a female is reading this article then just realize the value of a man; and if its a male then feel proud of after reading it!

"One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "Yes."
The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with ANGELINA JOLIE "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to ANGELINA JOLIE , You would have come up with CAMERON DIAZ . Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care
of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to ANGELINA JOLIE ."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.
That's our story, and we're sticking to it! - "WE ARE HONORABLE MEN!!!!!!"

When 'Worse' is Not the 'Worst'!

A father passing by his teenage daughter’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Randy and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like him too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and Randy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these days is it?), and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of our relationship, don't you agree? Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!!

Your loving daughter,

Rosie.

At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO". Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbour's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home. I love you!

The Perfect Boss

There were about 70 scientists working on a very hectic project. All of them were really frustrated due to the pressure of work and the demands of their boss but everyone were loyal to him and did not think of quitting the job. One day, one scientist came to his boss and told him - Sir, I have promised to my children that I will take them to the exhibition going on in our township. So I want to leave the office at 5 30 pm. His boss replied "OK, You're permitted to leave the office early today".

The Scientist started working. He continued his work after lunch. As usual he got involved to such an extent that he looked at his watch when he felt he was close to completion. The time was 8.30 PM. Suddenly he remembered of the promise he had given to his children. He looked for his boss, he was not there. Having told him in the morning itself, he closed everything and left for home. Deep within himself, he was feeling guilty for having disappointed his children. He reached home. Children were not there. His wife alone was sitting in the hall and reading magazines. The situation was explosive; any talk would boomerang on him. His wife asked him, "Would you like to have coffee or shall I straight away serve dinner if you are hungry. The man replied "If you would like to have coffee, i too will have but what about Children?"

Wife replied "You don't know? Your manager came here at 5.15 PM and has taken the children to the exhibition "What had really happened was ...The boss who granted him permission was observing him working seriously at 5.00 PM. He thought to himself, this person will not leave the work, but if he has promised his children they should enjoy the visit to exhibition. So he took the lead in taking them to exhibition. The boss does not have to do it everytime. But once it is done, loyalty is established. That is why all the scientists at Thumba continued to work under their boss even though the stress was tremendous. By the way, can you hazard a guess as to who the boss was..?

He was none other than the mastermind behind India's successful nuclear weapons missile program....

Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, President of India.

Contributed by Dr Chandan Bhattacharya, New Delhi, India
Defence & Research Development Organization (DRDO), India! drbchandan@yahoo.com

Funny Car Clips!